Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
