I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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