8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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