She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
