some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
