i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
