hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
