A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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