I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
