I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
