hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
