who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
