You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
