I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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