Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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