And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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