Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
