I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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