Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
