He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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