I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
