I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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