Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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