dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
