Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
