omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
