I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
