she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
