Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
