He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
