Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
