i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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