So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
