dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
