I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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