So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
