Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
