He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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