Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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