Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
