You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
