i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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