Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
