So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
