The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
