Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
