After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
