I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
