That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
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Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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