we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
