Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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