it wasn't lemon gatorade
everyone is single if you try hard enough
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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