I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Your penis caused this!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
