just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize