you would pick up someone in the library
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
