I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
