"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
