Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
