i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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