No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
