im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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