I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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