yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
