Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
